How exactly did New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg, whose office on Tuesday let the NBA announce the Brooklyn Nets' home opener with the New York Knicks was on for tonight, despite the shutdown of the subway system, change his mind and yesterday announce the postponement of the game?
Press accounts are rather confusing. But it might have gone down in a conversation between NYPD Captain Michael Ameri (MA), Commanding Officer of the 78th Precinct (which includes the arena), and a Deputy Mayor (DM).
MA: I just heard this clown Brett Yormark on the radio saying the game was on after a "collective decision" involving all parties, including local government.
DM: Well, yes. We did all talk.
MA: Did you ask me?
DM: Well, we spoke with One Police Plaza.
MA: Did you call freakin' me?
DM: No, but--
MA: I gotta run the 78th freakin' Precinct--
DM: Yes--
MA: Lemme finish. I have police officers, right?
DM: Yes--
MA: I have to deploy them where I think they're best, right?
DM: Yes--
MA: Then why the freak do I need these guys managing traffic for freakin' basketball fans when we have freakin' people in freakin' Brooklyn who lost their homes? Or they don't have freakin' power or can't take a freakin' shower? Why? Half my cops don't have electricity.
DM: The mayor says--
MA: The mayor my--
DM: Let me finish. The game is gonna be historic, Nets versus Knicks. National television. They're even bringing back some retired Brooklyn Dodgers.
MA: The Dodgers aren't coming.
DM: What do you mean?
MA: They gotta drive, right?
DM: Yes.
MA: And they're old, right?
DM: Yes.
MA: They're gonna wait so long in traffic they're gonna pee their pants. These guys have 85-year-old prostates. Not a good idea. They're gonna stay home.
DM: The game's going to be on national TV. TNT. That's good for New York. That's good for Brooklyn.
MA: TNT my freakin' ass. I'm not moving my officers to the freakin' Daily News Plaza just to make sure people paying 400 bucks a ticket can cross the street in peace. Some people in Brooklyn lost everything. There could be looting.
DM: Well, we made the decision.
MA: Way I heard it, the NBA and TNT made the decision.
DM: We were part of it.
MA: Not. Gonna. Happen.
DM: What do you mean?
MA: I cannot in good conscience send my officers there. We're already freakin' crucified because we can't stop the freakin' bass from the freakin' concerts from entering their homes. You can feel it in the freakin' precinct house. What am I gonna do, shut down Jay-Z? Shut down those weirdos in white who came for Sensation--the ones all wired on Ecstasy? That noise is another thing you better G.D. work on. And don't get me started on the black cars. We don't have a place for the freakin' limos. And they keep freakin' honking.
DM: You're not going to cooperate?
MA: Listen to me. Lis-ten to me. Talk to my officers. They don't wanna work the arena tomorrow. They know what's going on. They work for the people of New York City. Not the NBA. Not the Barclays Center. Not the Brooklyn Nets. Not T-N-freakin-T. Not tomorrow.
DM: Okay... I'll bring it up with the mayor.
MA: You better. We're already working double shifts here. We have better things to do.
***
Later today, Mayor Bloomberg held a news conference, declaring, among other things, "our police have plenty of other things to do."
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